Be still

“And just like that, it’s gone!  I’m sad – that was beautiful,” said Cody, commenting on the gorgeous sunrise this morning. 

It didn’t start so great as he sat at the kitchen table while it was still dark outside.  Suddenly, there was a huge flash of light.  “Lightning?” he said.  “Well, it’s not supposed to“  BOOM!!  “rain today…,” I said.

Ok, apparently it may rain today.  Sure enough, as the sky lightened, we saw rain clouds over us.  We also saw an amazing pink sky that was making our backyard and even our living room pink. 

I took a picture and then, as the color changed ten minutes later, another picture.  Ten minutes after that, Cody opened the east-facing front door and the colors were gone.

As we were on our way to school, we turned east and faced straight into the sun breaking through the clouds.  Cody commented on that beautiful sight too.

“We aren’t storm chasers – we’re cloud chasers!”

As we sat at the light to turn into his school, I took another photo, but it included the bus in front of me, the car in the next lane, and electrical wires.

Driving home, I made the turn to go north and looked over my shoulder to see the sun still bursting through the clouds.  I made a U-turn, pulled into a parking lot, and got out to get a better picture. 

I tried standing in three different places but none gave me a good picture – and probably made me look a little weird wandering around an empty parking lot.  By that point, the sunrise had changed and, as I brought my phone up one last time, I realized it wasn’t worth taking a picture anymore.

“Aaaaaand, it’s gone,” I thought to myself.

Then I laughed.  Out loud.  Because it was exactly what Cody had said an hour earlier.  I also had the thought, “Ok, definitely looking weird, time to go home.”

I was especially grateful for the beautiful sunrise this morning because it was a struggle to get out of bed today.

Have I mentioned I’m not a morning person?  I can’t remember.  Probably because it’s too early in the morning for me to already be typing and my brain’s not fully functioning yet…because I’m not a morning person.  But Cody’s in middle school now and it starts at 8:00 instead of 9:05.  Oh, boy. 

I woke up with two thoughts this morning:

“My body really doesn’t like waking up at 6 a.m.”

And, “Be still.”

“Be still” as in “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14 NIV

Someday I may write the story about that verse in our lives, but for now, let’s just say it was how God literally talked to us during a horrific season of life.

It has also been a gentle hand on my shoulder lately as I am exhausted after our most recent season of stroke recovery.

In the last few weeks, I reminded myself to be still while letting God fight the battle around Cody’s epilepsy medication that insurance didn’t want to cover anymore.

As I walked through the kitchen last Friday, I looked at the paperwork that I needed to compile to submit the insurance appeal…and felt such a heavy weight.  I just couldn’t muster the energy for another fight. 

“God, please help me finish this,” as I walked past the papers. 

I walked to the office and noticed I’d missed a call.  I recognized the number as the health insurance rep I had been talking to about Cody’s denied medication and checked voicemail.

The rep had left a 2 ½ minute message – apologizing for making me do all of the work in collecting Cody’s medical information from multiple providers.  Because, it turned out, there were three errors or issues made by the insurance company regarding his initial request for coverage and, after being reviewed by their pharmacy plan staff again, they did actually cover his medication.

Wait.  What?  They were wrong and have approved Cody’s medication?  It’s done?

And just like that, it was gone.  My need to write the letter.  To fight.

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

Other translations of the verse use different words instead of “be still.”

And my favorite:

“Adonai will do battle for you. Just calm yourselves down!”  (Complete Jewish Bible)

The Israelites who had fled Egypt with Pharaoh’s army pursuing them were standing on the shore of the Red Sea, freaking out.

¹³ Moshe answered the people, “Stop being so fearful! Remain steady, and you will see how Adonai is going to save you. He will do it today — today you have seen the Egyptians, but you will never see them again! ¹⁴ Adonai will do battle for you. Just calm yourselves down!”

 ¹⁵ Adonai asked Moshe, “Why are you crying to me? Tell the people of Isra’el to go forward!”

Did you catch that?  Be still doesn’t mean don’t do anything.  It means don’t do anything foolish, don’t freak out, don’t try to control a situation you can’t control.  Be still means to wait quietly while God fights, until He says, “Move!” and then to move.

I did have to act.  After receiving the denial letter, I called the rep twice with corrected and additional information.  I talked to our pharmacy multiple times and they called the manufacturer three times.  I collected information.

But I could have done all that calmly.  Remembering that God was fighting for us too.  I did try – but most days I failed.

And then that voicemail, “Cody’s medication is covered.”

If I’m silent and peaceful, I can calmly wait for Him to make a way.  To battle for me.

And when I do, just like that, it’s gone.  The battle is over.  And I remember that I only needed to be still.