We learned in November that my husband likely had an issue that would require a second open-heart surgery.  The doctor wanted to consult with a specialist about her tentative diagnosis and so we waited.  Amid waiting for an answer and our growing anxiety of anticipating another open-heart surgery, an Instagram quote caught my eye from a podcast called The Place We Find Ourselves, which consisted of exactly 100 episodes. 

“Well, in 100 days we will have an answer,” I thought.

I also had the thought that I should start a new Spotify playlist – and called it “100 Days.”  I had tried to remember how I survived the wait before the first open-heart surgery and remembered that singing was how I battled the anxiety – so that would be how I would survive this wait too.

The doctor called a week after Chuck met with her (and the day I started the new playlist).  She said the specialist was 99% certain of the diagnosis but needed better imaging.

So, we waited until the end of December when they could get him in for more imaging to determine if he in fact he had that issue.  Then we waited until the middle of January for the pericardial specialty clinic to discuss his case, decide if they agreed with the initial diagnosis, and, if so, decide who his surgeon would be.  Then we waited two more weeks for the scheduler to call to finally schedule surgery.

I was driving home when Chuck called me during the middle of the work day.

The first thing he said was, “The surgeon’s scheduler just called me.  They gave me 2 dates:  March 10th or March 16th.  What do you think?”

I paused, quite stunned.

“Which date do you prefer,” I asked.

“Well, further out would be better for work…”

I paused again.

“You know the 100 Days playlist I started?”

“Yes.”

“March 10th is Day 100.”

At which point Chuck paused.

“I guess I’ll call her back and schedule March 10th,” he said rather stunned.  And then he quickly got off the phone to call her back to make sure he got that date.

“Today is March 10th, surgery day
Today is also Day 100
The 100 Day wait is finished
And now a new waiting begins”

I actually wrote that more than a month before surgery.  I had thought I may write a post the day of surgery about when the waiting ends and those words came to mind.  I typed them in February so I wouldn’t forget them by March.

When I wrote that, I had meant the wait the day of surgery.  And the wait in the ICU right after surgery, wondering and worrying if he would continue to bleed all afternoon like he had after the first surgery three years ago.  If he would need another transfusion.  Another emergency surgery to stop the bleeding.

The bleeding didn’t happen.  There was no need for a transfusion.  I didn’t have to wait through a second, emergency surgery in the same day.

But a new waiting definitely began.

And I had no idea just how long it would be.

Day 100