“…there is something sacred in the fall of snow… Blessings from the heavens, they sustain life. And if sometimes they create difficulties for humans, that’s not the fault of nature. The fault is in the nature of man. Humans…are far too focused on doing and not enough on being.”
William Kent Krueger, Fox Creek
I realize that the calendar says spring and most of the country is seeing spring but, until two days ago, I was still seeing winter. Big snow piles everywhere after a very long, very snowy winter.
To be honest, I’m still feeling a little winter too.
While Minnesota’s ridiculously long season of snow started with a bang (well, a blizzard) in December, my winter actually blew in the previous March. It began the morning I walked into my husband’s ICU room and learned he’d suffered a severe stroke after open-heart surgery.
Months later, on a glorious summer day, I ran into friends…and found myself barely able to tolerate talking with them. Anger at our situation overwhelmed me, frustration at them discussing things that seemed so unimportant in comparison. That was the day I realized I needed to pull away from others for a while.
My sister-in-law warned me not to isolate. But I had to isolate. I certainly was in no condition to be a good friend to someone else, and I had no energy at the end of the day to share what I lived through that day.
So, by time covid hit our house in November, I was used to isolating. It felt comfortable. And by the time I emerged from covid in December, true winter had fully covered our house.
Recently, as the calendar began to close in on spring, I found I needed just a little more time to feel winter. Just a little more focusing on “being.”
