Sometimes it’s better to receive than to give

One quick internet search finds dozens of recent articles and research studies telling us to give.  They describe actual health benefits of giving our time and financial resources to others.  It’s also what many of us were taught from a young age:

It’s better to give than to receive. 

We are told there is joy in giving so we focus on giving. Receiving though – that is often hard for us. Maybe we don’t want to appear needy, weak, or dependent.  We definitely don’t want to be a burden to the other people in our lives who have their own hardships…but who love us and want to support us, who want to reciprocate some of the care we’ve offered them.

In last week’s post, I wrote about reaching out and inviting someone new to meet a group of neighborhood moms.  I had asked God for more connections over the previous year and saw a community begin to grow.  Here’s the deal with community though: there are times in our lives where we will have to learn to receive instead of give.

It’s hard to even say it that way, isn’t it?  Or maybe you actually read today’s title as “better to give…” just from mental “muscle” memory.  So read it again:

Sometimes it’s better to receive than to give.

A few weeks after Cody’s epilepsy diagnosis, we received a card in the mail from our church’s men’s prayer group letting us know they were praying for Cody and for us.  That same day, Chuck came home from work with a letter from a coworker and a small angel token.  The letter read,

Chuck,

Last night on my way home, I stopped at Bibelot with you and your family in mind.  Humbled by your current life circumstance, there is little I can do or say other than: “I am with you.”  Jeanne and I have been at this juncture too, many times – a child ill beyond a cold, a life circumstance that causes us to question: “Where are YOU, God.”

With that in mind, I decided that I would make a pact with you and your family.  I have purchased a rock—symbolic in its own right with the word “FAITH” engraved on the grey stone.  I also purchased several small symbolic angelic characters the size of a coin for you.

Know that each day, I will be reminded that it is FAITH that sustains us, it is “the evidence of things unseen” that allows us to believe that this challenge has meaning and “whenever two or more gather in His name” we share strength. Peace to you and your wife.

An angel to strengthen us

More than six years later, that angel still sits on my kitchen counter where I see it all day long.  It is a reminder that someone reached out to me in my brokenness and came along side me to share the pain and the struggle.  That small coin reminds me I can’t do this alone nor am I expected to do this alone.

God sent me two other messages that day.  There was a page on Facebook called, “God Wants You to Know.”  The post that day was perfect for when I was slogging around in a fog, feeling like I wasn’t able to get anything accomplished:

Today, Carrie, we believe God wants you to know that…living your life as good as you are able to is good enough.  You don’t need to be superhuman, and you don’t need to be perfect.

I’m not sure about you, but I’m not very good at just doing “good enough”…

Finally, my morning devotional email stated,

God never tires of drawing near to those who suffer, calling us to heal and offer hope…

I recorded that in my gratitude journal and followed it with “people doing this for us right now during this season, when it’s ‘not fair.’”

Are you in a season of life that is not fair?  God doesn’t expect you to survive it on your own.  Do others know you are struggling?  A family member or friend, coworker or neighbor?  It’s hard to ask for help and admit weakness but sometimes that is what we need to do.  Because sometimes it’s better to receive than to give.

Then an angel from heaven appeared to Him, strengthening Him. 

Luke 22:43