Could you use a break from my grief? I sure could. A respite. An interlude.
in·ter·lude/ˈin(t)ərˌlo͞od/ – An interlude is a short period of time when an activity or situation stops and something else happens. (collinsdictionary.com)
Yes, it’s definitely time for an interlude from grief.
I woke up yesterday morning with a song in my head. I regularly do that and I try to pay attention to the specific song lyrics that my mind sings to wake me up.
Storms within my troubled soul
Questions without answers
On my faith these billows roll
God, be now my shelter
Those lyrics are from “Lord From Sorrows Deep I Call (Psalm 42),” one of the “100 Days” playlist songs, a playlist I thought would get me through the day of surgery and instead seems to be sustaining me through the first 100 days after the stroke.
The one line that was most repeated in my head though was
Sing, oh, sing through the raging storm
Actually, in my head it was more like
“SING, OH, SING THROUGH THE RAGING STORM!!!”
As I sat down to breakfast, I called up that song and listened to it. And that’s when I thought about an interlude. Because that’s also a musical term:
a musical composition inserted between the parts of a longer composition, a drama, or a religious service. (merriam-webster.com)
Maybe it’s time for a musical interlude as well. Did you know that listening to music you like actually releases dopamine in your brain, a neurotransmitter known as a “happy chemical”?1
So, on a relaxing Saturday morning with the glowing sunrise finally filling my living room and kitchen (it’s been a really gray spring!), I listened to music that made me happy.
I also decided to look for joy bombs (as Margaret Feinberg calls them) this week – to be intentional about taking an interlude from grief with hands open to receive whatever joys God gives me and ears tuned in to the songs I hear or find myself singing. Because singing, I thought, is a form of praise, of gratitude. And gratitude is about the biggest break from grief I can take.
So without further ado, here is my musical and pictorial interlude, recorded day by day for the last week.
Saturday
Lord From Sorrows Deep I Call (Psalm 42), Matt Boswell and Matt Papa
Why are you cast down, my soul?
Hope in Him who saves you
When the fires have all grown cold
Cause this heart to praise You
Sunday – Mother’s Day
Still in Control, Mack Brock
How can I say it is well
When my voice can barely speak?
How can I sing You a song
In the midst of suffering?
Jesus, will You meet me here?
Let Your peace wash over me
‘Cause I need You now more than ever
Teach my soul to sing
The ode to Mom reads,
Loves flowers, family, and friends Always says she needs more sun Enjoys birdwatching, the sunset, and relaxing (ha!) Wants to learn to play guitar Is happiest when she is always happy (aww) Is loved by me, Dad, and her family
Monday
I’ll be honest. I let stress, too many to-dos, and too little sleep get the better of me today. But I still had music playing in my head, lyrics from a new song a friend is working on. Cody was actually humming it too, while getting ready for school…except I wasn’t fast enough to get video of that so just imagine it. I can’t give you a song link because it’s not released yet but here are the lyrics that have captivated us this last week:
Spirit speak to me, I am listening
‘Cause just one word from you changes everything
Whether it’s loud like thunder rolling in or gentle like the wind, I’m leaning in
Spirit speak to me, I am listening
Tuesday
Rediscover You, The War Within
You told me
Look for You and I will find
So I’m here
Like I’m searching for the first time
Revive me, Jesus
Make this cold heart start to move
Help me rediscover You
Wednesday
Worn, Tenth Avenue North
I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
‘Cause I’m worn
Thursday
“Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!” Enough said.
Friday
Til the Day I Die, TobyMac
I’ll keep swingin’ for the fences
It’s like this heart is defenseless
Against the passion that’s pumpin’ through my veins
Blood, sweat, tears
It’s a callin’
And if I can’t walk, then I’m crawlin’
It might flicker but they can’t kill the flame
Listening for meaningful lyrics and looking for soul-sustaining joy bombs reminded me of something important this week which I can easily forget in the grip of grief: God.
They reminded me of a God who is light and life and goodness and Cody’s humming. God is abundance so when I look for things for which to be grateful, I start seeing them everywhere. He lifts those too-heavy burdens bowing my shoulders and straining my back…and crushing my soul.
God brings me flowers.
He sings to me in my grief.
Arise, my darling.
Song of Songs 2:10-12
Come away, my beautiful one.
For now the winter is past;
the rain has ended and gone away.
The blossoms appear in the countryside.
The time of singing has come…
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