Still in bed and propped up against pillows one Saturday morning, I read my daily devotional a few weeks after Chuck was discharged from the hospital and inpatient stroke rehab. The plan was a study on the book of Ruth, and that day’s reading began with this:
“Naomi has experienced a great deal of sorrow and loss in her life, and she is in a very dark place. She doesn’t understand why God would allow all this tragedy to happen.” Love God Greatly: Ruth, YouVersion plan, Day 5.
And I thought, “Amen, sister!”
(In case you aren’t familiar with that book, Ruth had lost her husband and her adult sons, which, in that time and culture, meant she had no one to take care of her anymore.)
I next opened Instagram to see if something could lift my spirits – and encountered this post from the previous day:
“When the world as you understood it falls apart, God’s invitation to you is to lament. Lament consists of two things: allowing yourself to feel your sorrow, and then expressing that sorrow.” Adam Young, quote from the “Why Lament (Surprisingly) Leads to Life and Freedom” podcast.
Lament. Yes, I can relate to that.
Then Cody walked in with a big smile and a plate full of pancakes to treat me to breakfast in bed. And, of course, my dark mood lightened.
But, after breakfast, I started asking God how to keep writing for Come So Alive when I wasn’t feeling that way now, feeling “so alive.” How did I give people hope when I barely had enough for myself?