I realized, a long time ago, that I was depressed – once someone pointed out to me that I was depressed, that is.  I talked to my therapist about medications, but she called it “situational” depression as opposed to clinical (chronic) depression.  She believed that, once the situation resolved, the depression would too.  I continued talk therapy and, over time, the situation changed and I pulled out of the depression.

Years later though, I still closely monitor where I am at when depressing hardships come.  But while depression is a reality, so is sadness.  And the two are not the same thing.  Too much grief can lead to depression but sitting in your grief does not mean you are depressed.  It does not mean there is something wrong with you, something that needs to be addressed and fixed immediately.

Grief means you are suffering.

And suffering just needs to be experienced.

Grief needs to be sat with for however long it sticks around and again during those times when it suddenly returns for a visit.

Fighting it, ignoring it, trying to rush it along – those things only make it more determined to stay and pop out when you least expect it.

I read my morning devotional from the YouVersion Bible app today, from a plan called “Depression: A devotional for the wounded spirit.”  A friend and I read plans together and share what spoke to us from each day’s reading.  I had to hunt for a while to find this one, because I didn’t want a plan about just believing harder or praying better.  Sometimes life is just hard and sad and you have to sit in that space.

This plan lets us sit in that space.

Today I read,

“People are uncomfortable with pain, and instead of sitting with us in this season, they try to take it away or gloss over it.  Sometimes, the truth is that it can’t be taken away by simple measures.  The thing we are so often apt to forget is that during this season, Jesus doesn’t offer condemnation or judgment. He offers sympathy… he’s the one who can sit with you in it…”

I then read two posts back-to-back and they both talked about grief and suffering.  Expecting more of yourself (too much?) during times of hardship and grief.  Feeling alone during times of suffering.

Their short descriptions in their Instagram posts both grabbed my attention:

Our life is once again resembling the early days of the pandemic. Falling back into quarantine activities has me feeling restless, underwhelmed and frankly, a little batty.

I keep waiting for Kelly 4.0 to rise from the ashes like some sort of truth-telling, epilepsy-advocating phoenix. But those ashes, far from burning embers of flight, are looking cold, hard and grounded.

Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you look at it, this is not a new feeling for me in the slightest…

KELLY CERVANTES, Instagram post for "Max achievement" on KellyCervantes.com, January 14, 2022
Men and women are all caught in the universal machine of suffering that chews people up and spits them out. And in their respective griefs and fears, they are all wondering if God sees them, hears them, knows them.

CHAD BIRD, "For Those Who Feel Unseen" on 1517.org, January 14, 2022

Maybe you too need to hear today that other people struggle.  Question themselves.  Feel alone and sad.   If so, read both of those posts.

Instead of soaring, are you feeling grounded today?  Chewed up and spit out by life?  It’s ok to sit with those feelings.  Just remember, you don’t sit there alone.

More than that, [Jesus] sits with the suffering and holds the trembling soul.

Chad Bird, “For Those Who Feel Unseen”